Final word count – 76,528
Well, I’ve done it, I’ve literally just finished my final edit. Though I can already feel the need to read it through again! I used tips I had previously picked up, I changed the font and size of my novel before editing hoping a fresh perspective would highlight my mistakes. It did!
Oh, so many mistakes!
At least one sentence was deleted because I couldn’t decipher it, I spent a long time staring at words, trying to work out what it was I had been trying to say in my half asleep state. The problem with self publishing is that how can you be sure that you haven’t just blinded yourself to some of the mistakes? It’s something I’m going to have to get over, as long as it as perfect as I feel I can get it, it will have to do. I just pray that my degree taught me enough to be my own editor and proofreader. I can only hope that in the future I’ll have the spare cash to hire a professional!
I woke this morning with a fresh wave of self doubt, I’ve been struggling against it all day. What if it’s not good enough? What if people hate it? I don’t suppose those questions will ever really leave, I just have to find a way to ignore them. Maybe the novel is utter crap, maybe I am a horrendous writer blinded by wishful thinking. But I won’t know unless I put it out there. The most important thing that I keep reminding myself is that I write for me, and that won’t change.
I spent last weekend finalising a title, after many bad suggestions from family! And creating a book cover, both of which I’m happy with! With little else to do, I’ve planned to release the novel on Kindle, on Valentine’s day (Look out for my release post next week!). I am terrified, I’m just not sure what exactly is scaring me so much. There are a few things constantly running through my head:
- I might not sell a single copy
- People who buy it might hate it
- I might end up with just crap reviews
- My writing might actually be awful
All of which make absolutely no difference to my life, not in the wider sense anyway. Yes, as a writer, I might feel crushed, but not every novel is destined to be liked. If it turns out my writing is terrible then at least I’ll know, right? It’s a difficult thing to get my head around, I’ve had this dream since childhood but I also wanted to be a singer when I was about six or seven. Turns out, I can’t sing. So maybe I can’t write either. And I just have to come to terms with that being okay!
I’ll be looking for reviews, so any bloggers out there who would like a free copy to review or if you know someone who might be interested, contact me! I guess I’ll learn as I go along to take the stick. I have read a number of badly written novels on Kindle and I’m desperately hoping I’m not about to add my own to it! Whether it is well received or not, I loved writing it, I already miss my characters and I only left them about twenty minutes ago.
It all happened a little too quickly. I wasn’t even supposed to be finished writing my first draft yet! But I can’t see any reason to delay it at this point. I want it out there even if it never gets noticed amongst the rest. I’ll be pressing that publish button on Tuesday for myself!
People might find it hard to believe but writing isn’t about the money, it’s not about the gratification, it’s about sharing the story you needed to tell. Like an artist who paints their emotions on a canvas, we write. You might never create a masterpiece but you’ve created something that is all your own.
Okay, I’m leaving it there! I’ve decided to continue this weekly writing post as I make a start on my next novel, the characters from which, have already started conversing in my head. So, I’ll see you next week.